Do you ever just feel so overwhelmed? I did, and still do. I used to solve all of my problems, though, by drinking until I couldn’t feel. On top of that, smoking so much weed that I couldn’t think. I was a “functioning” alcoholic. (If you could even consider it functioning lol). I really dug myself into a hole that I couldn’t climb out of. It got SO bad. The sad part was, no one knew that I had a problem. From the outside, I seemed fine. I went to the gym everyday, I took care of my kids, I bought groceries, I kept my home clean, I was a “normal” member of society. Haha, normal.

I couldn’t go a day without a drink, or even a few hours without thinking about having a drink. It was relaxing, until it wasn’t. I was stuck, I had become addicted to drinking. And if you don’t know, it is hard to break an addiction. At that time, I didn’t even want to break out of it. I enjoyed drinking. It made life easier to handle. It made my days go by faster. It made me not care. This made stopping really hard. In fact, this cycle continued for years.

Fortunately for me, my circumstances changed and I was able to break out of my addiction. Today, I am 80 days sober,which may not sound like much, but as I said before, I couldn’t even go a day without drinking. It’s something I am really proud of. Unfortunately, even though I stopped drinking, the guilt and shame from drinking sticks. For me, it is more motivation to stay sober. Why would I want to go down that path again? At this point in my life I really don’t.

Until next time,

The Sober Mommy